Can You Hear Me Now, Can You See Me Now?
Tonight I am sitting and stewing over a work related issue. It happens to be something that can happen anywhere, at anytime, and really to anyone. It’s that old struggle with power and visibility. I have found myself struggling with how to regain a sense of visibility and involvement in a new organization. I thought that I had voiced this in the right way to the right people at the right time.
As you may have guessed not all went well with the receiving committee for my thoughts and hopes. Tonight as I sat outside on my prayer bench smelling the warm night air, I asked myself new questions, what extent am I struggling with issues of arrogance and pride? I asked God and the heavens to guide me to move from a place of humility rather than from a place of wanting visibility.
Initially when I reflected on the readings from October 22nd, I could not believe the arrogance of the disciples in the gospel reading in asking Jesus the following:
“Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.”
He replied, “What do you wish me to do for you?”
They answered him, “Grant that in your glory
we may sit one at your right and the other at your left.”
A friend and I talked about this for quite a while. She saw the readings from a much bigger picture. She saw the second reading as a foundation for Jesus’ response to the disciples as being gentle and very understanding of their humanity. She said, “Jesus understood the human desire of his disciples to want to go to heaven and share in that glory. He said, “Okay, you can share in my glory but I cannot place you on my right or left hand side, only my heavenly Father can do that.” She then went on to say, “Jesus told them what he could and could not do. He did not judge them, he merely asked them if they were willing to take on His baptism and walk where he would have to walk.”
I thought that she had a very good insight into the gospel and wondered how I might learn from her. Tonight, I am grateful for this Jesus who can hold my humanness as I sought more visibility and involvement. I am relieved that he understands us. My challenge is to figure out what it means for me to live his baptism and to serve without worrying about me being visible and having influence. I shall seek to draw from the admonition of the second reading for direction
“So let us confidently approach the throne of grace
to receive mercy and to find grace for timely help.”