Jer. 20:10-13
All those who were my friends
are on the watch for any misstep of mine.
‘Perhaps he will be trapped; then we can prevail,
and take our vengeance on him.’
But the LORD is with me, like a mighty champion:
my persecutors will stumble, they will not triumph.

Mt. 10:26-33
Jesus said to the Twelve:
“Fear no one.
Nothing is concealed that will not be revealed,
nor secret that will not be known.
What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light;
what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.
Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin?
Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s knowledge.
Even all the hairs of your head are counted.
So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

How Many Sparrows am I Worth
In the Sunday readings for June 22nd, I found myself thinking about the different ways that I sabotage myself. I may have a few people in my life who look for my down fall (Jer. 20:10-30), or are occasionally catty about something I have done or said. However, I could make a quick list of the number of times this past week where I have been the source for the voices chastising my work or something that I have said.

The list begins with the inner dialogue: I can’t believe I said that, I should have said this, not that…
Or the negative coaching moments ahead of an event when I say, “What was I thinking when I said I could do this workshop…this funeral…?” I don’t think that I am the only who is their own worst enemy.
In the gospel reading Jesus says,

What I say to you in the darkness, speak in the light;
what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.

How do I allow the words of Jesus to become a new source of light for my words and actions? How can His message of unconditional love for me, in my strengths as well as my challenges, shift the way I prepare for an opportunity and/or shift my self evaluation after an event?

I think I must begin by believing the words of Jesus who speaks to that place in me that is more comfortable with “not being good enough,” than being a reflection of his divine love in the here and now. After all he says to me, to each of us,

“Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin?
Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s knowledge.
Even all the hairs of your head are counted.
So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”