Here I Am
When I was little I always had both a night light on and the door open. Closing my eyes at night seemed like a great vulnerability, especially as a child and teen who believed that God could show up at night. As a young child I would check under the bed and in the closet to make sure everything was okay.
Unlike Samuel waiting for the Lord to speak, as a first grader (after seeing the movie, Joan of Arc) I told God in no uncertain terms that I did not want any visions or voices. After all look what had happened to a saint who had them. I was merely a little girl and I had no tools, no pockets of experience of how to deal with such challenges. I think that I was open to a God who might show up in the day, but this night time when my sense of control seemed less engaged was another thing.
Recently, a patient’s family and his care giver invited me to come and sit quietly with the patient. He was restless and they thought that my presence might help him. I sat with him quietly for the most part, occasionally offering a prayer or reading scripture. During that time he became very quiet and his breathing changed. Later that evening he died.
Today’s first reading invites us to be open to God’s call and in the gospel; Jesus invites us to respond both as individuals and community to the Good News. It is our challenge to recognize God’s voice and respond.